maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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