I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
