discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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