I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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