It's Friday. Sex?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
