But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
