we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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