no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
