I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
