Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
