Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
