i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Everyone says I win the strip club
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize