garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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