But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
