he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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