That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
