I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
