You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
