Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize