You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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