Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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