have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
