: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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