I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
