And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
