I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
