Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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