God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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