Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish you could order shots online.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Randomize
