I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
