my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
