I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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