i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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