so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
