Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
