i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
