Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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