this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
