I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize