Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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