How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
