cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
