so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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