franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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