I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i will never coherently bang her
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
