I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if only i could text you this smell
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
