Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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