Screwed.edu
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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