Can i not drive my cunt home
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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