The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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