This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
