i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
