I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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