I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
