Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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