I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
