After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize