so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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