Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize