fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
