I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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