Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize