It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it because I queefed?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
