just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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