There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's like heaven, but drunker
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
