Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
