North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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