Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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