He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
