idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Mom said you looked used
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
