There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
