She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
