maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
