wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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