So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
