Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
