He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's always time for handjobs
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
