just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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